"...and I'll savor every moment of this..."

The Party and The Kiss

I went to my friend's house

 I sat on the couch as quiet as a mouse

There were supposed to be lots of people there;

lots of boys that i knew from school

that I thought of as super cool.

I was the only girl though,

but I didn't care.

It was hilarious when zach

got so drunk; he passed out on his back.

The hours flew by,

 the guys wanted to get high

so they traveled down the street

to buy a joint from the man they'd meet.

The boys had no means of pay

so they felt astray.

coming back to the house

with no pot for their means of play.

Poor boys without their pot,

they looked like such a sad lot.

By the end of the night

my boyfriend pulled me to him tight.

His lips pressed firmly against mine.

It felt so utterly devine.

I wanted to stay with him

but I knew my mom would not skim

me being out so late,

especially on this date.

As I moved towards the door

I could feel my boy's gaze on me.

I knew he wanted more.

I felt the same way...

Oh, how I wanted to stay!

I swung the door open

and went down the steps runnin'.

My mom was waiting for me in her car.

I smiled at her and let out a sigh.

I knew deep down that I would have an emotional scar.

It would be of this night wondering,

 "What would have happened between us if I had stayed?"

bradley is sick. he threw up 5 times today. i feel so bad for him, he's my honey. i love him and want to make him feel better. i miss him and hope he feels better by tommorrow. i really want to see him so i can give him a great-big-hug and make him smile.

i truly do love him dearly.

i have meap testing 2nd and 3rd hours tommorrow as well. i also have an english grammar test first hour. then in fourth hour i have swim class for gym. i think its the last day for that though so thats nice. it always makes me super tired though. ugh that really sux. on wednesday i have a history test over a humongous chunk of notes that we took in class but i dont know anything off them cuz i just wrote them down and wasnt really paying any attention to the review today in class. it felt like a huge long boring lecture. i hated it!

but i really do miss my baby bradley and pray that he gets better really soon like tommorrow. i love him dearly and i hate to know that he isnt feeling well. ='(

His name is Bradley, but i need to keep his last name confidential.

he is:

adorable

cute

sexy

hottie

nice

hilarious

random

fun

etc,.....

I love him and want to do so much with him, as Roxy, my cousin, knows! =)

If you want to see more pics of him, you can look at my pictures here on buzznet and comment them please!

Thanks! I love you all!

This is  how I feel yet I can never cheer up about it. I just push it down, down, down until I have tricked myself into believing I cannot feel it anymore. Yet, the truth in it all is that really, it's just hiding-out until something I see or hear during the next day triggers it open to feel this way again. It's like a cut that won't heal. The pain still is there and the cut itself keeps re-opening because you continue to pick at it.

This is my life and my heart. People just keep picking at it. I will forever feel this pain and suffer from terrible agony. For the cut keeps becoming re-opened.